Can't help to wonder.. When guys did some mistakes, even major ones, girls only sulk for a few hours before forgiving them. And the worst part sometimes, they like to turn the tables around.
But when girls did some mistakes, it took them a day or a few days to actually forgive and move on. Where's the fairness?? Everyone make mistakes! Why can't they just get over it and move on like we girls??

I feel unfair sometimes when he does this to me. He has done a lot of mistakes towards me for the past 3 years but most of the time, I'll just sulk for a few hours before talking to him again. But usually, even if he's the one at wrong, I have to be the one to look for him and beg him to forgive(forgive for what fuck I did also I don't know) me.

And the recent one was the one he did that took 14 months of his life AND MINE. I can choose to not talk or send him any letters or even visit him throught that period of time because I was so super dissapointed in him. But you know what? Without even thinking, I choose to forgive and move on. Infact I choose to wait somemore. For 14 months, I could have met someone new. But I didn't because I still wanted to be with you.

But why can't he do the same FOR ME? Why can't he forgive me when I did a mistake? Why do I have to go through being given the cold shoulders for days?? While I can forgive him EVERY SINGLE TIME WHEN HE DID THE SAME OLD MISTAKE OVER AND OVER AGAIN? WHY??????

Yes I know I said somethings that I shouldn't have. LIKE YOU NEVER DID?! But I said sorry after that didn't I? I know that I've made a mistake but I pushed all my ego aside to SAY SORRY. Because I TREASURE THIS RELATIONSHIP MORE THEN MY EGO.

But I guess to him, the mistakes I did was deadly and I deserve to be given the cold shoulders. For days, weeks. I don't know. And I probably don't deserve to be given another chance for this. Because I keep doing the same mistakes over and over again. And he had enough.
U'huh. Like I never had enough with him lying to me about the same old things only to find it out on my own.

WhatI'm trying to say is, JUST FORGIVE AND FORGET. That's what makes the relationship last long. Compromise! People make mistakes.

Oh well. I've already said my piece. I just hope I can get through this. I know I can. Just pretend that he's not here. Maybe things will get easier. And maybe just maybe, I can move on with my life.